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By Zephaniah - Founder, Zephaniah Free Education, Pakistan

Since my childhood, I have heard this one thing - that behind every successful man there is a successful woman.

Zephaniah-free-ed-2But still we ask why - here in the developing world - we are not successful nations, and have a very low literacy rate, poverty and - everywhere, killing. No mercy - any short cut seems to be taken for money and luxuries. We have not yet played a vital role in the progress of the world. We are killing our own brothers, mothers, fathers, and even sons to take over their money or land.

So many problems and one reason: We do not respect woman - we think she cannot do anything.

She cannot make decisions. She is responsible for producing children but she does not need good food. She cannot leave home without permission, even if she has to go the doctor. She has to rear an educated generation, but she does not need to go to the school. She has to bear every cruelty, but If she complains she is a loose cannon. She has to support her family but she cannot go out of the home. If a man comes home from office late he was busy so he needs to rest, but if a woman comes home even five minutes late she was on date. If a man is wearing clean clothes and shoes he is decent and well dressed, - if a women is dressed nicely she is trying to impress the men. If a man maks a wrong decision everyone obeys, - if a women gives suggestions she is crossing her limits. One half of the population resents wasting time to protect half of the population that is called women. And then they say we are not progressing.

If a boy is born, sweets will be given to everyone in the area. If a girl is born, everyone will keep silent and will say nothing because it is bad. From the time of birth we make her life hell, - we blame her all the time as if she is a curse on family. We kill our girls before they come into the world and then we need many wives for the men - often men choose to marry again and again. Do you want to get married to women or to goats?

All this behaviour makes a women insecure and she is unhappy all the time. She has to wait for years for happiness. She thinks maybe her father will love her. Then she expects it from her brother rather than from her husband or son. Everyone has a right to live life in their own house, but she never ever has her own home; she lives in a man’s house with whom she has one relation and that’s all.

If such women produce many children what else will they be able to do? All that is happening in our developing world.

We know, and medical science has proven, that what a mother thinks and feels during pregnancy affects the child. An educated and relaxed mom’s baby will be like her, and a frustrated mom will give birth to a child who will be angry, frustrated and forceful. Because the mother has been thinking that if she had been strong she could have taken her rights. Because throughout the life she has been dreaming of freedom, desiring love, care and education, and a chance to take a breath out of her own choice, but she was not allowed. How can such mothers nurture a successful child and society?

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Disclaimer: Views here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent an official standpoint of Safe World for Women, as an organisation.